Guides

Funeral Planning Checklist: What to Decide, What It Costs, and Your Rights

By Daniel Kuh · Updated July 22, 2026 · We don't sell funeral services — every number here is cited to its source

Most funeral planning guides are written by companies that sell funerals. This one isn't. It walks the same checklist — the decisions, in order — but adds the three things those pages leave out: what things actually cost (from the funeral industry's own published data), your rights under federal law when you sit down with a funeral home, and the veteran benefits most families never claim because nobody mentioned them.

The first 24–48 hours

If the death just happened, only two things involve a funeral home today: the death must be legally pronounced, and the person is brought into a funeral home's (or the medical examiner's) care. You do not have to make service decisions during that first phone call — "please bring them into your care, we'll discuss arrangements tomorrow" is a complete answer. The wider first-days picture — family, Social Security, the paperwork — is covered in what to do when someone dies; this page stays on the funeral itself.

Burial, cremation, or donation — and what each actually costs

This is the decision that shapes every other one, so it deserves real numbers. The National Funeral Directors Association — the industry's own trade body — publishes median costs (NFDA statistics, 2023 data, the most recent published medians):

Two context points from the same NFDA data: cremation is now the majority choice in the US (projected 63.4% of deaths in 2025), so whatever your family chooses, it's normal. And a memorial service weeks after a direct cremation is increasingly common — it costs less, and it lets the family plan a gathering without a clock running.

Choosing a funeral home — you're allowed to shop

• Call two or three funeral homes, even in grief. Prices for the same services genuinely differ between providers in the same town — and federal law requires them to quote prices over the phone (next section).
• Ask for the General Price List the moment you visit — it's an itemized menu they must hand you, and it's yours to keep and compare.
• Bring one person who isn't in the deepest grief. Their job is simple: ask "is this required, or optional?" at every line.

Your rights under the FTC Funeral Rule

Federal law — the FTC's Funeral Rule — gives every consumer specific, enforceable rights when dealing with a funeral home (FTC — The Funeral Rule). Most grieving families have never heard of it. In plain language, you have the right to:

• Buy only what you want. Funeral homes must sell goods and services à la carte — no forced packages.
• Get prices over the phone — without giving your name or number.
• Receive a written, itemized General Price List you can take with you, before you're shown any caskets.
• See a written itemized statement of everything you're buying before you pay.
• Supply your own casket or urn bought elsewhere (including online) — the funeral home cannot refuse it or charge a handling fee.
• Decline embalming. No state law requires routine embalming; refrigeration or a service without viewing are lawful alternatives.
• Use an alternative container for cremation — no state requires a casket for cremation.

If a provider tells you something is "required" — ask: required by law, or by their policy? The FTC's rule exists precisely because those get blurred.

The bill, line by line

The FTC's own pricing guidance (FTC — Funeral costs and pricing checklist) breaks every funeral bill into three buckets — knowing them turns a confusing invoice into a readable one:

If they were a veteran — benefits most families never claim

Veteran burial benefits are real money and real honors, and no funeral-planning page in the top search results mentions them. From the VA directly:

• Free burial in a VA national cemetery — including the gravesite, opening and closing, perpetual care, a headstone or marker, a burial flag, and a Presidential Memorial Certificate. Spouses and dependents can often be buried alongside at no cost (VA National Cemetery Administration). Eligibility generally covers veterans discharged under conditions other than dishonorable.
• A burial allowance for eligible cases (VA — Burial allowance): for service-connected deaths, $1,002 burial plus $1,002 plot allowance (rates effective October 2025); for non-service-connected deaths, up to $2,000 toward burial in a private cemetery (deaths on or after 9/11/2001). Non-service-connected claims generally must be filed within two years.
• The key document is the DD-214 (discharge papers). If you can't find it, the funeral director can help request military records — but finding it in the files first saves days. (It's item one in our family emergency binder checklist for exactly this reason.)

Documents and information to gather

The funeral home will ask for most of this at the arrangement meeting — arriving with it shortens the hardest meeting of the month:

• Full legal name, date and place of birth, Social Security number
• Parents' names (including mother's maiden name — death certificates require it)
• Marital status and spouse's name; occupation
• Any pre-paid arrangements or cemetery deeds
• DD-214 if a veteran
• Clothing, photos for display or the obituary, and any written wishes
• How many certified death certificates to order — at least 10 (banks, insurers, and agencies each want their own; see the full after-death checklist for who needs them)

The full checklist, in order

• Look for written wishes and any prepaid contract
• Decide: burial, cremation (direct or with service), or donation — using the cost table above
• Call 2–3 funeral homes for phone quotes; ask for the General Price List
• Choose the provider; set the service date (there's no legal rush — cremation especially allows a later memorial)
• Decline what you don't want — packages, embalming for a no-viewing service, upsold caskets
• Arrange cash-advance items yourself where you'd rather (obituary, flowers, musicians)
• If a veteran: start VA benefits with the DD-214; consider a national cemetery
• Order 10+ certified death certificates through the funeral home
• Get the written itemized statement before paying; compare it to the GPL
• Delegate day-of roles: eulogies, music, photos, greeting, childcare

Common questions

How much does the average funeral cost?

The industry's own published medians: $8,300 for a funeral with viewing and burial, $6,280 for a funeral with cremation (NFDA, 2023 data) — usually before cemetery plot and headstone. Direct cremation commonly runs $1,000–3,000. Prices vary widely by region and provider, which is exactly why phone quotes are worth the uncomfortable calls.

What is the cheapest way to have a funeral?

Direct cremation, followed by a family-organized memorial, is typically the least expensive complete path. Whole-body donation programs can cost even less where available. Neither is "less of a goodbye" — the memorial is the goodbye; these options just separate it from the logistics.

How soon after death does the funeral have to happen?

There's no general legal deadline. Refrigeration and cremation both remove time pressure, and memorials held weeks later are common and completely normal. The only real clocks are practical: travel for family, and the venue's calendar.

Should you prepay for a funeral?

Pre-planning (writing wishes down) is unambiguously kind; pre-paying is a financial product with real risks — funeral homes close, contracts don't always transfer, and state protections vary. The FTC suggests careful questions before prepaying. Writing wishes in a planner your family can find delivers most of the benefit with none of the risk.

Do I have to buy the casket from the funeral home?

No. Under the FTC Funeral Rule, you can buy a casket or urn anywhere — including online — and the funeral home must accept it without a handling fee. Casket markups are among the largest in the entire bill; this single right can save thousands.